Behaviors That Stick
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Influencing
PE 13

Practitioner Experience

Experience an Embedded Practice in real work.

Practice: The Invisible Hand

Open with what they care about before you state your ask — ninety seconds changes how the response arrives.

The Hook

The ask that opens with what you need rarely lands as well as the ask that opens with what they care about. Ninety seconds changes everything about how the response arrives.

DefaultBehavior SpectrumEmbedded
01
SIGNAL

When does this matter?

Any time you're about to make a request of someone outside your direct team — before you send the message or speak.

You're about to Slack the design team asking them to prioritize your review request this week.
02
REDIRECT

What do I do?

Name what they're actually focused on right now. Find the honest link to your ask. Open with that link — state your ask after.

You open: “I know launch week is packed for you — this review would help you avoid rework later.”
03
SHIFT

How will I know it's working?

You'll know it's clicking when people from other teams start bringing things to you before you have to ask.

The design lead pings you first about an upcoming change that might affect your work.
04
EMBEDDED

How do I know it worked?

Cross-functional requests get faster responses. People outside your team start including you in decisions earlier.

A peer says, “You always get why we're slammed.” Your requests stop waiting in line.
↺ Repeat until Embedded
Before (Old Pattern)
After (Embedded)
  • Your request opens with what you need.
  • It competes with everything else on their plate.
  • You open with what they care about, then state your ask.
  • It reads as considerate, not just convenient for you.
The Goal

Open with their priority, not yours, and the ask lands differently.

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